When they warn you about peer pressure no one warns you that you can be cornered into doing things you aren’t comfortable with or don’t want to do by people you trust and it doesn’t always have to do with ‘what the cool kids are doing’ it can be as subtle as being different because in school being different is pressure enough.
When they warn you about peer pressure in school they tell you about drugs and alcohol; they tell you about people offering you weed or beer and telling you ‘all the cool kids are doing it’. They talk about peer pressure like it is obvious and so easy to spot that you can joke about it when the conversation comes up among your friends.
What they don’t tell you is how it can unnoticeable and consistent it can be. What they don’t tell you is that ‘no thanks’ is never the end of it and that its not always about drugs or alcohol.
No lesson is being taught on the dangers of peer pressure which includes the feeling of ‘outsideness’. They never teach you about the self-consciousness when all of your friends are doing things you know they shouldn’t be doing and teasing you about being the ‘parent’. It’s not always a forceful pressure and they don’t always mean to press on you. but even the strongest stone can be carved away by drop after drop of water.
No one warned me about the peer pressure that comes with being the only one who doesn’t have a crush. No one warned me about feeling ashamed and anxious about being the only one who had never kissed anyone. No one warned me how feeling kind of grossed out by the idea of sex would make knots in my stomach but to others it wouldn’t.
Back in middle school no one warned me about the peer pressure that comes when a friend in my social group had a crush on me. No one warned me how uncomfortable I would be with it, or how much my friends would tease me about never having a boyfriend, or tell me now was my chance, or exclude me from group dates. No one warned me that my friends would tell me I was heartless for not giving them a chance, or they wouldn’t speak to me again if I didn’t date them because it was cruel for me to not to give them a chance when we were friends and they were into me.
Sometimes peer pressure goes unnoticed because since you are near a close group of friends it doesn’t seem like it. We must always be our true self, even if it might not seem like the best idea because the fear of losing your friends rises.
I had to go through a moment where I sincerely asked what I was doing in that situation because it was not like me. The people around me had done nothing wrong but I knew that the fact that I was out late, without my parents’ consent wasn’t like me at all. I had to look pass the teasing and name calling because I knew that I needed to be true to myself. I learned to accept myself for me and made a promise to never lie to myself into believing something I knew was against my morality.
One of the most important lessons learned when growing up is to “listen to the beat of your own drum.” People will respect you more and go towards you if you don’t follow the crowd. It takes a lot of courage to be your own person, and to be comfortable in your own skin, but doing so will not only boost your confidence, it will make you the “cool” one.
high school survival guide 